While it’s common to find a few students crushing on their teachers, it can be quite surprising when we hear of the reverse. After all, teachers are seen as parental figures to their students and expected to remain professional in the administration of their duties.
But the truth is that teachers are made of flesh and blood like everyone else and can sometimes develop some form of attraction to students.
Unfortunately, this type of crush, while it may seem flattering, can make school life uncomfortable and altogether complicated for students. Which can potentially harm their academics and personal lives.
If you’re a student who’s in a similar situation or you know someone who is, but you’re not sure what to do about it, this article will provide advice to help you handle this situation.
Before we look at this, let’s take a look at how you can determine or confirm whether a teacher has a crush on you.
Signs Your Teacher Has A Crush On You
Teachers spend a lot of time with students and sometimes it’s easy to misinterpret their actions as romantic interest. So how do you determine whether they have a crush on you?
Ask Personal Questions
While it’s perfectly normal for a teacher to want to know more about you, it’s alarming when they pry too much into your personal life.
When you start getting a lot of questions about your family life, your hobbies and interests, and most importantly, your love life, it’s a sign that they probably have a crush on you.
Unless such questions serve a particular purpose to help further your education, they most definitely have a personal interest in you.
Shares Personal Details
You didn’t ask them about their personal lives but they may share sometime personal about themselves. Keep in mind that even if you ask about their personal lives, most teachers would refrain from answering them.
So, if they volunteer information about their relationship status and other personal information, they probably want you to also open up to them, which is a bad sign.
Wants To Spend More Time With You
They want to spend more time with you so they find excuses to talk to you alone. You did poorly on that assignment and they want to go over the questions with you.
It’s understandable if they want to go through the assignment with the rest of the class but you should take the hint when it’s only you and them.
Inappropriate Physical Contact
Most educational institutions have policies that prevent teachers from touching or even hugging students. Unless in the case of an emergency, teachers are forbidden from touching students.
So, you should understand that a teacher willing to take this risk, must really like you. After all, they’re risking their career and license by doing this.
If your mates missed the deadline for assignment submission and got an earful or their assignments weren’t accepted but somehow you received a smile or didn’t receive any complaint, you should know the teacher probably likes you.
Then again, you might just be getting a pass because you’re a model student and they want to reward you. So, keep that in mind when considering this point.
You worked on the assignment with some friends and they all got a lower or reasonable grade but somehow the teacher has been very generous with you.
You’ve been a “C” student all along but you suddenly started getting “A” knowing full well that you don’t deserve this grade. The teacher’s probably trying to get on your good side. This can do more harm than good though if it keeps happening.
They seem jealous when they see you with other teachers of the opposite gender. This also applies to seeing you with your mates of the opposite gender.
If they’re aware that you’re dating someone, they may encourage you to refrain from it as you’re too young or it’s inappropriate. Keep in mind that this could also be because they’re genuinely concerned for your well-being.
Most districts and educational institutions have policies against teachers interacting with students on social media. Simply friending students on social media is forbidden by these districts.
So, teachers who ignore these policies by becoming friends with you on social media, do so because they like you. This is especially the case when they start commenting on your posts and pictures as well as initiating private social media messages.
After all, they’re risking their career just to interact with you. Most teachers would refrain from such actions so you should be careful if a teacher is willing to go that far.
Catch Them Stealing Glances At You
This is a classic one. You catch your teacher stealing glances at you and smiling when you lock eyes. They probably like you.
But keep in mind that this alone is no confirmation as they could simply be interested in what you’re doing.
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What To Do If A Teacher Has A Crush On You
Now that you’ve determined that the teacher has a crush on you, what do you do about it? You know it’s harmless but you would rather avoid any uncomfortable situations, especially in school.
Avoid Being Alone With The Teacher
While it’s unlikely that they would make a move, it’s advisable that you refrain from being alone with them, especially in their office.
Most teachers would keep the door open to avoid any issues when students visit their offices. So, you should be careful if you have to visit their offices.
Make sure their door is kept open. If you notice their office door is closed, simply find an excuse to urgently leave. It’s even better if you don’t go to their offices alone.
Make sure you have a friend with you to avoid any issues. Don’t worry about being overly cautious. This is also for the sake of the teacher as well. They have a lot more to lose should any issues arise.
If you intentionally initiated this whole thing, it’s advisable to stop right away. This is their career and life you’re playing with.
Society already views male teachers, especially with suspicion, so putting them in this situation could spell the end for them.
Teachers who act on these emotions could end up losing their jobs, and licenses or even face serious jail time depending on the age of the student.
On the other hand, if you didn’t start flirting with the teacher, you should refrain from encouraging them once you realize they have a crush on you.
Don’t flirt with them or give them any impressions that you might be romantically interested in them as well. Don’t urge them on, in an attempt to gain their favor.
Don’t Take/Give Photos
Refrain from giving them your photos or videos. Taking photos with them can blur the lines between teachers and students, creating situations that can lead to misinterpretation.
If the teacher is requesting your photos for personal purposes, you should bring this to the attention of the school authorities.
Ignore Social Media Friend Request
If the teacher sends you a friend request on social media, you should simply ignore it. Keep in mind that most districts have policies against teachers friending students on social media.
So, you can report this to the school authorities if the situation persists.
Seek Class Transfer
If the situation is making you uncomfortable in the class, you can seek a class transfer. Keep in mind that you’re in school to learn and educational institutions will do anything they can to avoid any negative publicity.
They’d rather transfer you to another class than face the backlash from parents hearing about this.
School Policies/Student Handbook
Familiarize yourself with your school’s policies on teacher-student relationships. Find out the process involved in reporting such potential incidents.
If you’re not sure this information is included there, you can directly reach out to the school administrator for advice.